


A Helping Hand From Hell

by ProstheticLoVe



Series: Of These Changing Times [1]
Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: F/M, Seasons 1-6, Spoilers, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 12:45:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProstheticLoVe/pseuds/ProstheticLoVe
Summary: Four times Amy helps Dan and the one time Dan returns the favor.





	A Helping Hand From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I recently started watching Veep after seeing The Death Of Stalin and someone recommended that I watch it. Of course, by season 4 Ioved the dynamic between Dan and Amy. When I went looking for some fan fiction, I found some amazing stories, but not enough. So I decided to add something to the pile. This is my first fanfic in about two years, so I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

Amy Brookheimer had been dating Dan Egan for a month now and she knew she had to break it off. She was starting to actually, genuinely like him and that was just not something she wanted to deal with, especially with her career on the cusp of really taking off. To many, it probably wouldn’t make sense, but to Amy, because she liked him—enough for her pulse to quicken in his presence—she needed to break up with him.

With Selina running with Hughes for Veep and POTUS, she didn’t have time for relationships, especially with D.C. parasites like Dan Egan.

She liked him a lot, which is why she knew that it was better to cut the cord sooner rather than later. Based on his reputation, it would only lead to heartache and betrayal if she continued to see him.

Besides, she already knew he was just using her for sex.

There was no way that a man like Dan Egan would be interested in a woman like her if there wasn’t anything in it for him.

He was more into the quiet, Stepford-like women who would just stand by and be trophy wives as they pop out fucking baby after baby as he moves up the political ladder and quietly fucks interns who are at least 10 years younger than him.

She shook her head and tried to erase _that_ picture from her mind.

She didn’t have time to deal with Dan when she could very well be working on her own political career.

And she wouldn’t even have to fuck anyone.

Sometimes liking someone wasn’t enough, especially when they were a womanizing fuckwad like Dan. She knew that he would never change, no matter what. That smug look would perpetually be stuck on his face. Just like his desire to fuck the female population of D.C.

Theses things were just innately pieces of Dan that would never go away. And she’d learned long ago that even if you wanted someone to change, that didn’t mean they would.

To eliminate all of the distress and woebegone bullshit feelings, Amy knew that sometimes, you just had to break up with someone before they broke up with you.

She wasn’t even sure why she’d said yes to a date with him in the first place. Maybe she’d momentarily lost her mind by allowing herself to have a life outside of work. Maybe it was the way he smiled at her or the way he talked about politics. Maybe it was the way he stared into her eyes or made her feel like someone actually _got_ her. Maybe it was the way they could strategize together or the little burst of interest and glee that livened up his persona when he began to talk about where he wanted to be in five years.

But he was a shit and he’d proven that to her a few times within the past two months of knowing each other.

There were dates that were really good, like their first one.

And then there were dates that were really bad, like the last one they went on when they had, had sex and she’d left in the middle of the night because she hated sleeping in weird places.

She was kinda a control freak like that.

She was also completely sure that he would be the one to break up wit her any day now and she’d rather rip the band-aid off herself rather than let him pick at it and scar her mental health.

She’d rather come out unscathed from this relationship than spend days mourning her loss of a month-long relationship with a fuck weasel.

They had slept together after all and why else would a guy like Dan Egan stay with her if he’d already gotten what he wanted?

Guys like Dan only thought about sex and he’d gotten it…just a few days prior.

The thought of seeing his naked, sinewy body stretched out upon his bed with nothing covering him made her blush.

Even if it had been a few days, that was one image that would be burned into her brain for a long time.

She cleared her throat to try to banish that image from her mind, but instead, it conjured the one of him kissing his way down her neck and toward her nether regions to help her relax.

She shivered despite herself and tried to keep her eyes on her cocktail and shot in front of her.

She was doing the right thing.

She had more important things to focus on like her political career instead of pining for a guy that seemed to only be interested in what _she_ could do for _him_.

So really, she was breaking up with him because she didn’t want to be used when she could be advancing her own career without dealing with the emotional fuckover that occurred when you dated the man named Dan Egan.

The most womanizing dick in D.C.

Also, every time they went out, she caught him checking out other women.

So there was that.

Something her already low self-esteem didn’t need or couldn’t handle.

She’d even spent a few sleepless nights wondering if Dan was seeing other women behind her back.

So really, breaking it off with him was doing them all a favor. She wouldn’t flip a shit on Dan cheating and he could go stick his dick in whatever he wanted without getting an earful from her.

It was a win-win in her eyes.

Before they had gone out that first time, she’d heard about Dan Egan. Of course, she’d heard about him. Any woman who was intelligent, in her 20s-40s, and well connected had heard about him.

One of the very few women she socialized with had gone out with him and had announced vehemently that he was a narcissistic womanizing fuck, after dating him for two months and fucking him for three.

So Amy was prepared to be wary of him when he had asked her out several times over the course of a month.

There was their first meeting due to work, then running into him here and there at D.C. events. Then there was the time he’d cornered her in the back of a restaurant when they were on dates with different people…Maybe it was his total disregard for other people’s feelings that made her said yes. Or maybe it was the three glasses of pinot she’d drank with her dinner to stay awake as Dudley-Do-Right went on and on about helping the Haitians because of another hurricane.

She’d hesitated for good reason, but he was also good looking and flirted with her, so she gave in because of the aforementioned momentary lapse in sanity.

What was the worst that could happen?

What could Dan Egan really do to her?

All he wanted was sex, right?

If she went in with her eyes wide open, she wouldn’t get that hurt, right?

However, she had decided after he had called her the morning after they had fucked that she couldn’t let herself continue to be used by Dan Egan no matter if her eyes were glued fucking open. No matter if her eyelids were ripped off and she never closed her eyes again.

There was no being prepared with Dan.

He was just bad news.

He was a shit.

The biggest shit she’d ever met.

Thus, she had to break it off.

It was the only option.

And she had to do it now since she had slept with him.

Once was enough for her. Even if she’d enjoyed it and it was the best sex she’d had in a long time. She wouldn’t be dragged into the fuckery that was Dan Egan.

Sitting in the bar they’d gone to on their first date, Amy zeroed in on the door with anxious eyes. The shot and a cocktail sat in front of her waiting to be consumed. She’d gotten both drinks because she wanted to take the shot before Dan arrived.

It wasn’t that she was nervous about what would happen—no of course not.

She didn’t care about breaking up with Dan.

It was just something she _had_ to do.

She couldn’t let it fester any longer.

It was just that she…had a long day and she needed time to actually decompress before breaking up with a womanizing shit.

That was it.

And maybe she needed some liquid courage too.

But just a little.

She wasn’t very good with feelings, but who was in D.C.?

She glanced down at her phone as it vibrated and she tried to shake out the tenseness in her shoulders when she saw it was Dan texting her that he would be there in five.

With a slight shake of her head, she grabbed the shot and took it, so she was prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally to break it off with Dan Egan.

She could do this.

She _wanted_ to do this.

It wasn’t like she was having second thoughts or anything.

While she knew that he probably didn’t give a fuck about their relationship, she did hope that he wouldn’t get emotional on her or whatever. Even if her stupid daydreams showed a teary-eyed Dan as she broke the news.

But then again, Dan was as cut off from his emotions even more than she was, so she might be getting her hopes up in watching him be miserable upon hearing that she was breaking it off with him.

Shaking her head out of the little daydream she had conjured up at the idea of Dan being upset and wanting her to take him back—perhaps even _begging_ her—she heard a subtle throat clearing behind her.

Looking up at Dan, she took him in as he stood right beside her with a smug expression on his face. The same expression that had gotten her to go out with him in the first place and the same one that got her into his bed.

Jesus fuck he looked good.

He was wearing a navy suit, but he’d foregone the tie, which was an indication that he probably came right from work. His hair was a little messy, like he’d been running his hands through it, but the whole getup was just…Jesus fuck for some reason she was having doubts.

She shut down that thought before she could rationalize not breaking up with him and instead, tried to focus on something else.

But of course, her brilliant brain decided to conjure up images of them in bed together because that’s all she kept thinking about. She squished the happy little fire that burned within her whenever she thought of him kissing her or generally being near her.

“Need a little liquid courage tonight, _Ms. Brookheimer_?” he asked eyeing the empty shot glass in front of her.

“That was already here.” She said nonchalantly gesturing at the barstool beside her.

“You don’t want to sit down at an actual table?” he asked casting his eyes over the rest of the bar for an empty table no doubt.

“We probably won’t be here for very long.” She said drumming her fingers on the counter and trying not to show her discomfort or meet his eyes.

She wasn’t interested in seeing the smug look in his orbs.

His eyes brighten in interest, “Do you have other plans for us, Amy?”

She bit the inside of her cheek and gave him a coy look hoping to not give too much away. She was torn between not saying anything at all or just going all in.

Should she…just not go through with it?

Was that an option?

But that tiny voice in the back of her head reminded her that Dan only wanted sex from her and now that he’d gotten it…well she was probably going to join the throngs of women who he’d dumped.

And Amy was not a statistic.

Especially not of Dan Egan’s.

She pushed forward with the motivation to not be another Dumped By Dan Damsel.

“Actually…Dan…I’ve decided that I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” She blurted out mentally thanking the tequila for helping her get the words out that she’d practiced more times than she could count in the mirror.

“What?” he asked the brightness in his eyes dulling and the smugness on his lips tightening into a calculating expression.

“I just think that I shouldn’t be dating inside of D.C. You know the politics…” she said trailing off as his lips turned into a downright scowl.

She felt her stomach tighten and wondered briefly if maybe she was different; maybe she was doing the wrong thing; maybe she could change him.

She almost snorted out loud at the thought of Dan being a changed man _because of a woman_. She didn’t know him that well, but she knew him well enough that, that was a fucking joke.

“I think I’m going to just date outside of D.C. from now on so that means…we should probably break this off.” She added as his eyes narrowed in on her.

She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, so she picked up her glass and took a drink of her cocktail wondering if she should add more to her declaration to fill the silence or if Dan was going to break it with some snarky one-liners that stung her more than she was willing to let on.

“Uh…I really don’t know what to say. _This was a surprise_.” He snapped.

She watched as his demeanor went from flirty, to irritated, to downright nonchalant and she wondered if he may be a sociopath to brush off feelings that easily.

He straightened his posture and allowed a smirk to settle on his face as he waved down the bartender a bit more vigorously than he normally would.

“Gotta say, Amy, I kinda figured we’d fuck for awhile and you’d catch me doing something brazen like fucking your sister behind your back before you would be the one to break up with me. In this scenario, I think I should be the one breaking up with you. Not you breaking up with me.” He said off-handedly, although he was waving his hands around a bit more wildly than he normally would.

“If you met my sister, you would not fuck her.” Amy said trying to ignore the way he was taking her decision as well as the mention of fucking her sister _because it was her sister_.

But him even mentioning it just showed that she was making the right decision in breaking up with him. Dan ignored her and told the bartender his order before shifting in his chair and keeping his eyesight forward and not trained on her.

“I guess fair is fair. I wasn’t really into you anyway.” He said taking the whiskey neat the bartender put in front of him.

Amy bristled at his statement and stared at his profile wondering if he was just saying words to get under her skin.

Maybe he was actually hurt by her desire to break up.

Maybe he wasn’t as bitter and cold as D.C. claimed and those moments of fuckery were actually—

“You’re not exactly my type.”

Or not.

“Really?” She asked rolling her eyes in disbelief.

“No…well, I mean you kinda are just cause I could gain a little something in my political career but…I’m much more into the…dainty, tall, and not shrill type. And Amy, you are shrill.” He was still avoiding her eyes, but her bright orbs had narrowed into slits.

“I heard you work for Selina Meyer…and I wanted to join—“

“Jesus fuck, dream on, Egan. We don’t let fuck weasels into our office. And there’s no need to get so fucking bent out of shape about me breaking up with you. If I’d known you were trying to get in my pants to get information and not just cause you’re a fucking horndog, I would’ve fucked you sooner. Then I wouldn’t have had to listen to you attempt to play guitar to serenade me or woo me or whatever the fuck you were trying to do with that poor fucking musical instrument. Honestly, who plays _Runaway Train_ to get in someone’s pants?” She smirked when she saw his jaw clench.

“You thought I was just trying to have sex with you?” he snapped.

She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

She opened her mouth to retort, but he cut her off.

“All I wanted was information and an in with Selina for when she heads to the White House. Too bad all I got was laid. And a mediocre one at that.”

Her eyes were burning into him, but through his entire little speech, she noted he didn’t turn to look at her once.

And then she softened slightly since she hadn’t wanted to upset him, but they both went on the offensive when they were hurting…something she had picked up on and admired too quickly. It may or may not be one of the reasons she really liked being around him.

 _Because he got her_.

“Listen, I just think we’re too different. We don’t have anything in common. You’re an asshat, which is demonstrated by this fucking conversation—“

“Hey, you’re not exactly a darling angel either.”

“ _Regardless_ , if I can use you in some way…maybe I’ll ask you for a favor. Maybe I could use your help with something. You seem to know your shit. My career _always_ comes first. I’m sure you can understand that.” She said taking another sip of her drink.

He turned to her slightly and stared at her as if he was searching for something.

“You’d help me like that? Even after what I admitted when you had such high hopes for me?”

She stared at him for a long moment trying to see what he was thinking behind that mask of smugness. “All high hopes for you were buried before you exited your mother’s womb. But…we’ll see. _Maybe_.” She got up, finished the last of her drink, and grabbed her bag.

“About before—” he started.

“Forget it. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to go out with you. A lack of female intuition on my part.”

He smiled slightly at her and she gave him a small smile before leaving the bar knowing that she’d never call him unless she had to.

Even if she had to though, she might just let that sleeping dog fucking lie.

One year, 20 unanswered texts, 5 awkward run-ins, 2 drunk voicemails, and one inaugural ball later, Amy called him to help with the plastics situation.

* * *

 

Amy knew that when she’d announced she had a date for Catherine’s birthday party that Dan was going to blow a gasket.

And maybe she took more glee in that than she’d ever admit.

Especially because the ship of her and Dan had _most definitely_ sailed awhile ago when she had broken up with him in that bar they still went to for drinks at least once a week.

So really, she shouldn’t feel any glee hearing that jealous tone in his voice.

Or seeing that look that rested there when Ed hugged her.

But she still did, something she’d definitely never admit to because her and Dan would never in a million years happen.

Again.

Even if she still got that quickened pulse and a warm feeling in her stomach anytime he was around. She mentally called it The Dan Distraction.

Since he had started working for Selina, their relationship had changed.

She wasn’t sure if it was for better or worse.

One thing she did know was the Dan Distraction was becoming a lot more prominent lately.

And she knew that was a bad thing.

Initially, their relationship had been a tentative truce.

They talked only about work and that was it.

And then he actually proved himself as a part of Selina’s team.

And she had to admit that he was actually smart and even though he was a conniving shit, he deserved to be there with her and Mike.

And then maybe she was warming up to him.

And then maybe she enjoyed coming into work because he was there.

And maybe she was making more of an effort to look nice.

And then suddenly it was weird to work without him on anything.

But she’d never admit any of it.

All she felt for Dan was pure detest and disgust.

That’s all she could ever feel.

Except she enjoyed spending time with him and she liked strategizing with him and maybe that’s why she hadn’t been on a date in awhile…

Perhaps that was another reason she’d agreed to another date with Ed at the end of the night because he’d help get her mind off of Dan, hopefully.

They were almost friends; maybe some would call them actual friends…they spent their working days together, but they also spent their nights together too.

Unless, Dan was trying to woo some new woman to hoist him higher on the career ladder. Going out to dinner or grabbing a drink after work was pretty standard for them. Amy denied that she enjoyed it, but many times, she really did.

Not that she’d ever tell him.

She didn’t want to give him the upper hand after all.

The last thing she ever could want was Dan to know her actual feelings for him.

The ones she tended to bury deep inside because well, her career came first and Dan only loved and could only love himself.

No matter how many meals they ate together or times they accidentally touched or the almost kisses that never actually came to fruition…Dan would always be Dan and she needed to remember that.

Anyway, meals were their thing. Even grabbing breakfast was a normal occurrence for them. And lunch was something they always ate together, unless they didn’t have time for a lunch because they worked for Selina.

So when he’d asked her to grab dinner after Catherine’s birthday to discuss Helsinki and she had announced her date…well she knew he wasn’t going to take it well.

The one thing she noticed about Dan and his dating habits were that even though he was always trying to woo some unsuspecting woman, it never lasted and he never blew Amy off to spend time with these women. The nights he chose were ones where she was too tired or had to stay behind at work to help Selina.

But hanging out after Catherine’s birthday was something they had been unofficially planning on…until she’d planned a date instead and ruined it.

She felt a bit guilty when Ed had walked in and they had awkwardly hugged and she saw the pure unguarded look of loathing on his face. I

t was awkward.

The entire situation was awkward.

And she wondered why she was feeling so pressured to do this when she just felt awkward about it.

She was Amy Brookheimer; why did she need a man to make her feel normal?

Usually, Dan and her would hang out at these things and make fun of people, network, or talk about whatever latest political scandal was going on, but…instead she went to the party with Ed, and she had to put on a _fake_ smile and _fake_ attitude and _it all felt so fake_.

Especially when Jonah and Dan heckled them and she needed to be on her best behavior because it was a first date.

Or at least limit her swearing.

So really, the night had been weird.

It was weird between her and Dan.

It was uncomfortable between her and Ed because if she was being honest with herself, she was just using him. The date with Ed had gone well enough. It was a typical—read boring—date. They’d gone out after Catherine’s party for dinner and they’d talked politics. Well, she talked politics, Ed kept trying to talk about family or some shit, but she wasn’t really paying attention. In fact, even though it was a fine date by Amy’s standards, she wasn’t really into it.

If Sue hadn’t said what she had about Amy and dating or Dan wasn’t busy screwing women all over D.C. to gain the upper hand, she probably would’ve just left their one date at that. But Sue had called her out for being a workaholic. And Dan was too busy trying to climb the career driven women of D.C. for career leverage, so before the date was even over, she knew she’d settle for another one just to show everyone that she could get a man.

She could date.

Also, there was no use in pining over Dan—not that she was— when all he could concentrate on was career climbing and obtaining information from unsuspecting women.

And maybe agreeing to go on another date was some way for her to feel a sick, twisted satisfaction when she saw that crazed-plastered-on-smile on Dan’s face when he found out they were going on a second date.

To be honest, most of the night, Amy tuned out what Ed said because her mind had wandered back to Dan over and over again. She may have even snuck a few glances at him to see how he was feeling about her date. It was safe to say he wasn’t as thrilled as he pretended to be in the office.

As she lay in bed, she replayed her day from the point where she told Dan she had a date to the end of the evening when she left with Ed and Dan’s face was twisted into a look of annoyance and disdain with his eyes trained on her. The look on his face brought her more satisfaction than she’d ever admit.

And the dark part of her that she tried to hide felt joy at his misery.

Because if she wasn’t happy, then it wouldn’t really be fair if he was.

After tonight, she was tempted to call him out much the same way Gary had earlier when he’d asked: _Are you getting worked up, Danny?_

She wasn’t sure why he’d gotten so annoyed and she wasn’t going to look that closely into it. She knew him well enough to know he was upset. And she wasn’t sure what to do with that knowledge. Maybe he wasn’t as upset as she thought. Or maybe he was upset about something else entirely.

After all, they had dated two years ago and had spend the last year really getting to know each other because of work.

She knew a lot more about Dan now than when they’d gone out the first time. And the one thing she was sure of was that she wasn’t going to ever, ever date or sleep with him again.

It would be disastrous.

It would be a huge mistake on her part.

She knew him so well by this point, that if they ever moved out of the stage of sexual tension, he’d toss her to the side quicker than one of his day old skinny vanilla lattes.

It was all strange.

Regardless, she tried to not let it get to her.

However, that was easier said than done.

From the time Ed had taken her home and tried to get a good night kiss to when she was getting ready for bed, she continued to think about Dan. What did it mean that he was so upset about her date? But more importantly, was he okay? Was he really that upset?

At one am, she decided to just text him and hope that maybe he wouldn’t answer since it had been a long night. Although, it was still early for them.

_Meet any informative single ladies?_

She was surprised when her phone dinged a few seconds later. She smiled slightly when she saw that he’d bypassed her mention of women and went straight for the jugular.

_You and Ed didn’t stay up all night fucking? He not doing it for you, Ames?_

Amy scurried to text back because for some reason she wanted to comfort him and let him know that Ed wasn’t a threat to their relationship. And maybe she wanted to help get it through his fucking thick skull that men were interested in her.

_Fuck off. Do you want to get breakfast tomorrow?_

There was a pause as she waited to find out what he'd say.

_Only if mimosas are involved and you pay._

_Deal._

Amy smiled slightly and put her phone down to fall asleep. But before she got too far, she heard another buzz.

_You know Ed isn’t your type, right?_

_And what is my type, Dan?_

There was a long moment and Amy figured he’d dozed off, but as she was settling back into bed, her phone lit up again.

_Fuck weasels._

_Only in your dreams…_

And then she quickly added: _Goodnight. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 9. Don’t forget to bring The Post._

But right as she was sending her text her replied: _I’ll bring The Post. Goodnight._

Amy smiled down at her phone for a long time allowing that warm feeling to infiltrate her system and for a brief moment, she let the Dan Distraction consume her until she knew she had to squish it down so far she could ignore it for another day. She needed to finally put this day behind her. Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander to breakfast with Dan tomorrow and because her brain was so sleepy she let some dreams of a _naked_ Dan and her at breakfast wander in there too.

* * *

 

“I gotta say, Amy. You're like an actual friend. I mean, throughout all this, you know, me being made Campaign Manager over you, I mean, you could have been a real bitch, and you've been great.” Dan said vehemently.

She stared at his sweaty, pale face and she felt a drop of…sympathy for the guy.

“Well, I guess I'm a team player, so…” she trailed off as Jonah came in to rub Dan’s nervous breakdown in his face.

It was ironic that they found themselves in a hospital, especially since Dan hated them.

On the drive over, Amy felt at a loss as Dan freaked out beside her. She was thankful that she had remained calm, but it was still unnerving to have him look so…broken down. She felt frozen and uncomfortable and suddenly, she realized that her and Dan weren’t that different at all.

And she really hated that realization because it’s Dan.

Dan who was the devil reincarnate.

But she couldn’t deny that they both hated hospitals and felt uncomfortable when the other one was in pain mentally or physically. It was an uncomfortable realization, one she vowed to shove back down to the recess of her mind. 

Clearing her throat and trying to eliminate the thought that her and Dan were the same, Amy focused instead on Jonah yelling at Dan.

As she realized what Jonah was saying, she made a swift exit to right the situation she had caused.

Not that it wasn’t deserved.

She was meant to be Campaign Manager and Ray was a fucking moron that needed to be exiled to a Siberian jail. Once the phone call had been made and Jonah’s dick was in a frenzy, Amy took some time to walk around the hospital. She was worried and she hated feeling this way. Anxious, on-edge, annoyed, frustrated, even sad she could all handle, but worried she couldn’t. She had suspected that Dan was going to break after the abortion situation.

She’d seen his wide, anxious, worried eyes and she’d suggested that he go home to take some Ambien. Later, she called him to make sure he hadn’t had a meltdown and he seemed okay then.

But now here they were a few weeks later and in London with Dan flipping a shit. She was torn between feeling annoyed and frustrated that she had to deal with this, but also worried about his mental well-being. Which was fucking strange in and of itself. There was also the slightest trace of guilt that resided in her belly and she didn’t like that.

For the past few months, Dan had been gunning for Campaign Manager and knocked her out of the running with some well-placed schemes and conniving verbiage. She shouldn’t feel guilty for taking advantage of a situation…it was a win-win after all. But she did and she didn’t like that spending so much time around Dan was—was making her fucking human.

Who the fuck would’ve thought that?

Gritting her teeth, she rounded the corner and came back to the area of the hospital Dan was in. She felt the desire to go and take care of Selina, but she also didn’t want to leave him. He’d been so out of control; it was freaking her out. Something, she’d never truly acknowledge and would forever make fun of to cover up her true feelings. Dan, who was not well, made her worry and she didn’t like that. She didn’t like being worried about other people. Even when her dad was in the hospital, she had suppressed the whole thing and with Dan…well Dan wasn’t the type to show his emotions let alone allow them to get so out of control he had a breakdown.

It was all just so very…unsettling.

“You look like someone anally raped your favorite doll, Egan. What did the fucking emu do to you?” Amy asked staring at Dan’s horrified face.

“Fucking Jonah.” Dan mumbled and then looked over at her with vulnerable brown eyes.

“Hey, you don’t think Selina’s going to fire me, do you?” Dan asked hesitantly.

Amy shrugged and sat back down in her chair beside his bed. “Selina’s…unpredictable. I’m sure if I somehow got pregnant, she’d fire me. So would she fire you over a nervous breakdown? Probably if not most definitely. It’s Selina.” Amy said shifting in the seat.

She avoided looking at his expression because the truth was, she hoped Selina didn’t fire Dan.

She wasn’t sure what she’d do without bouncing ideas off of him, being around him, or generally making caustic and obscene remarks about things and people—she couldn’t do those things with anyone else; she had to be _less_ around everyone else.

But Dan…

Dan was her equal and she definitely didn’t think about that when it came to other people.

“Fuck.” He hissed.

She smiled slightly, “It really goes without saying that I’ll be taking over the campaign.”

He glared at her, “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be off bending over for Selina?”

She smirked at him and shrugged leaning back in the chair choosing not to comment. They sat in silence for a few minutes until something occurred to Amy.

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean after having a nervous breakdown—“ she stopped talking as the phone in her hand buzzed.

With raised eyebrows, she looked over at Dan.

“I have to go, so get well, and ah, on the other hand, Selina just fired you as campaign manager, so take as long as you need. Take longer.”

He stared at her and then reached for her arm before she could scurry away.

“Can you…can you do me a favor?” His eyes were trained on her and there was something she couldn’t identify in those brown orbs of his. For some reason, she felt glued to her spot instead of yanking her arm away and running. It would be a much better idea to run instead of stand here staring at him like some kind of crazed lovesick Disney character.

“Uh oh.” She finally said hating how her voice cracked a bit.

She blinked and tried to push down the rising feeling of care she had for this man. That’s all it was, a feeling of care that…was lingering in her stomach too long instead of just disappearing the way she always managed to do at the last minute.

“Listen, Amy…I know that you hate me and everything, but I’d really appreciate if you could help me.” He said so quietly she had to move closer to hear him.

The words washed over her and she wondered if he’d really lost his mind.

“We’re probably going to leave for D.C. now that the shit has hit the fucking misery fan. I’m going to have to go with Selina.” She said just as quiet.

His hold on her arm slackened and his eyes cast downward like a puppy that was told no for the first time.

“Dan, what is it?” she asked sighing heavily and hating that she was playing right into his hand. The whole thing was probably an act after all, there was no way that he was actually being genuine. Dan and genuine were two words that were not the same. Kind of like politics and honesty or ice-cream and hot sauce.

It just didn’t work.

But for some reason, she was falling for it. She’d blame the nervous breakdown he certainly didn’t fake.

“Could you call my parents? They know a place…” he didn’t elaborate and she didn’t ask.

Nodding, she turned to leave, but stopped when another thought occurred to her. Without turning around, she announced, “I’ll stop by your house, pack a bag and…make sure you have food and shit. Maybe, if I have time, I’ll come to check on you.”

She didn’t have to turn around to know he was probably looking smug and the color was returning to his face. “

I always knew you cared.”

“Fuck off.” She said moving back toward the door.

For good measure, she turned to flick him off if only to make sure that he was looking less sickly. She bit her lip to stop from smiling when she saw that his color was indeed returning and that smarmy look had appeared once again on his face.

* * *

 

Banging on his door, she refused to stop until he opened up. It wasn’t that late, so she knew he wasn’t in bed and she knew he didn’t have a woman over because there were no screams of protest and disgust that she could hear. Eventually, she heard shuffling and him yell out to ‘go away,’ but she dismissed him and continue to knock, louder this time.

“Dan! I know you’re in there! Just open the fucking door! Don’t be such a fucking teenager.”

Finally, he ripped the door open and came face to face with Amy.

“What are you doing here?” he asked surprised.

“Looking for you.” She said pushing past him.

She moved toward his kitchen without an invitation and began to unload the bags in her hands. She ignored the feeling of his eyes on her and continued to unpack the bags of groceries and other small things she figured he needed and was neglecting to purchase such as soap, shampoo, a razor to shave what she had duped the sad-beard.

It was the beard that appeared every time something bad happened to Dan.

It appeared when he had his breakdown.

It was now here that he had spent one week away from the White House and his job.

When Selina had told her she was firing Dan, Amy was beyond annoyed. The plan was Ben and then fucking Erickson that sonofabitch had to go flip the plan on its head. She fucking hated Bill Erickson.

And now she was Dan-less at work and it was kinda the worst. She had no one to hang around with or talk to or who was genuinely following her around because he wanted to be around her.

While things had changed when they’d moved into the White House, she and Dan still spent more time with each other than they did anyone else. Even if she was running the campaign and he was always in D.C.

They texted, e-mailed, even talked on the phone.

There may have even been some FaceTime going on as well.

But now that he was gone, away for real, Amy realized she really missed him. She missed working with him, being around him, his annoying little comments. Not working with Dan was kinda worse than working with him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Do you need to take detail-oriented off your resume? This is me unpacking some shit you need to help make sure you don’t bathe with your hair dryer. I figured you might need some…stuff after what happened with the data breach.” She paused her hand lingering on a box of cereal she knew he liked. “I wasn’t sure if anyway had checked on you and I wanted to make sure…” she trailed off and shrugged her shoulders not wanting to admit she was worried about him.

Again.

She felt like lately she spent her life being worried about Dan-fucking-Egan, especially when her eyes should be on the prize of a long-term female president. Glancing up at him, she took in the sad-beard, the displeased expression, and the vulnerable brown eyes he made every time something didn’t go his way.

“I brought over whiskey.” She said taking out the last item from the bag.

His lips twitched a little, “I can’t believe she fucking fired me.”

“She technically didn’t. Kent and Ben did.”

“Thanks for the fucking reminder, Ames. Cause that was the main focus during that stupid goddamn Easter egg hunt.”

She looked down and smirked finding the whole thing a bit humorous.

“Dan, you’ll get another job. Maybe take a break from politics and go into lobbying for awhile. You could work for Sidney Purcell.”

“Lobbying? Are you fucking out of your mind?”

Amy gave him a look and rolled her eyes. “You make great money and it’s easier than politics.”

“Yeah but…”

“And you’re able to use your inflated ego for evil.”

“But lobbying—”

“You are like toxic waste right now, take a break from politics and do some networking that’s all lobbying is. Then come back when you’re less toxic and more desired.”

“I’m always desirable.”

“Not when you’re fired from the White House.”

Dan was quiet for a moment. “I’ll try Sidney. I’ve been calling people since I got fired and…nothing.”

“Hey, Ames, do you think—?”

“I’m not talking to Selina. I have enough on my plate without her going on a rant about you. With Karen-fucking—“

“Fuck Karen, I was going to fucking ask if you’d help me find a new job.” He had that same look he’d worn when they were in London at the hospital.

The one that said I-need-only-you-to-help-me-with-this; I trust only you.

Or maybe that’s just what she wanted him to say to her.

Without thinking, she let down her guard and moved toward him about to give him a hug. She stopped suddenly right in front of him reminding herself that she was dealing with Dan Egan. A man who had tried to steal Campaign Manager from her several times right under her nose. A man who had hoped she’d fail again and again. A man that had just gotten fired from a job that he actually cared about.

But right now, she was trying not to think about that.

As competitive as they were, she was worried about him and she didn’t like to see him look so…unhealthy and withdrawn. The sad-beard was an indication of how much she needed to help him. He wasn’t the type of person that could go very long doing nothing, similarly to her. She knew how he was probably going stir crazy in that apartment looking for a job and feeling hopeless. She knew if she was in his shoes, she’d be feeling the same way he was. No matter how much she despised him, Dan was a smart guy who could go very far and watching him fail at something they had both dreamed about had caused her a lot more agony than she cared to think about.

“You worried about me, Ames?” he asked a small smile on his face.

“No.”

“Does this mean you care?”

“Hell no.”

Dan smirked at her and then moved around her back toward the kitchen.

“So what’d you bring?”

“Some shit to make you smell better and some food…” she said heavily watching as he looked at the items she’d left on the counter.

He nodded and picked up the cereal that he liked.

Taking out two bowls and two spoons she went to grab the milk she’d just put away.

“Do you want to watch C-Span?” she asked cagily looking around his apartment.

“Yeah sure.”

She moved toward the living room and smiled slightly when she saw that the television was on and already flipped to that station. He’d just put it on mute when she’d come in. She moved to sit on his large brown sectional and wrapped the blanket that was on the couch around her.

Dan came in a few minutes later with the two bowls of cereal. Sitting beside her, he handed her a bowl and the settled in to watch what was going on in the world of politics.

“You know you’re going to need to shave that fucking beard and take a goddamn shower.”

“Yeah I fucking know.”

* * *

 

_Well, I’m pregnant._

It’s yours.

Fucking pregnant.

 _Amy_ was _fucking_ pregnant.

With _his_ fucking kid.

It was…insane.

Unfathomable.

Unbelievable.

What the fuck were they going to do with a baby on a campaign?

What the fuck were they going to do, period?

Fucking hell.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

Dan stood outside of Amy’s hotel door pacing the length of the hallway. After she’d told him the big news, they’d gone inside and went through the dinner without any interactions.

Although, Dan wouldn’t stop staring at Amy.

And Amy could only avoid his gaze and stare down at her plate. Instead of doing what she needed to, to help Selina.

The only times she opened her mouth was when Selina needed something.

And Dan just stared at her.

That’s all he could do.

Because he really couldn’t fucking believe it.

He was torn between feeling screwed and like his life was ending—he’d never dreamed in a million years he’d be having a kid with Amy—to actually being…a little bit…well…excited. It was weird since he genuinely never wanted to have kids or be a dad or have a family unless it was a political move, but the idea of pro-creating with Amy—as scary as that might be—didn’t actually sound that bad.

He’d known her for years.

He _really_ knew her.

She was probably his closest friend.

Regardless of the fact she was probably his only friend.

They knew each other inside and out and not just in a sexual way either. He knew what she needed sometimes before she even did…and as a team, he already knew they worked well.

They worked phenomenally together.

No matter who they worked for or what they did, together, they shit gold.

So whatever child that had both of their genes, well it was one lucky—and probably homicidal—kid.

In fact, the idea of being a parent with her kinda intrigued him.

But that didn’t negate the entire fact that he was freaking out and had no idea what to do or say to Amy. So all he could really do was stare at her through dinner because his brain really hadn’t caught up with the rest of him.

Should he comfort her?

Fuck that, he hated comforting women.

Should he tell her he was all in?

But what if he really wasn’t?

What if he hated being a dad?

What if the news Amy gave him was giving him some weird side effect because he hadn’t really seen or talked to her in a year? Maybe he just missed her and that was why he was feeling so…interested in becoming a father to _their_ child.

 _Their_.

That was an intense pronoun.

Because whether she liked it or not, they were now tied together for the rest of their lives because of _their_ child.

While he didn’t have her all to himself—much to his disappointment—he was the only person to father a child with her. And he kinda wanted to keep it that way.

They would be a perfidious parental team, bulldozing every other poor sucker at PTA meetings and science fairs and whatever fucking shit kids did these days.

But then the idea _of actually having a kid_ made him spiral all over again.

Should he acknowledge the fact that they’d be awful parents because _obviously_ it’s them? But what if they really weren’t? He felt conflicted and kinda sick as his emotions bounced from dread to foot-dragging delight.

Adrenaline was coursing through his body and he had spent most of the last few hours pacing in his room, the lobby, the courtyard outside, and the hallway.

He’d gotten more than a few glares.

He’d thrown out a few snide comments to keep the gawkers away.

Finally, before he could second guess himself, he knocked on Amy’s hotel door—or more like banged on since he was so nervous.

Something he was never going to admit.

He heard shuffling and then a muttered fuck before the door was opened the tiniest bit through the bolted chain she’d left on to no doubt keep people like him out.

Between the two inches the chained door allowed them to talk, Dan could see her small body donned in pajamas. He couldn’t make out her entire face, just her profile, but he could tell she wasn’t in the mood to talk.

He nudged his way toward the small open area to catch her eye and smushed his head as close to the hotel wall as he dared so he could talk to her through the small space.

All he wanted was to talk and figure this out and come up with a plan.

He just needed to know how to fix this.

He needed to know what she was thinking.

He always knew what she was thinking and right now...well he didn't and it sucked.

Maybe they’d get married…not that he wanted that. He was Dan Egan, of course he didn’t want to get married to—to Amy Brookheimer. They’d be…they’d be terrible…they _had_ been terrible…she’d broken up with him after all.

But that little notion didn’t stop the brief image of Amy walking down the aisle dressed in a wedding dress her eyes trained on him. A soft glowing look upon her—

Dan thudded his head hard against the wall trying to knock that never-gonna-fucking-happen image from his head.

“Open up.” He said loudly briefly wondering if he could use his weight to push open the door if she wasn’t going to open it the entire way.

Why was she trying to keep him out?

He just wanted to talk to her.

“I’m in bed.” She snipped as way of a greeting.

“I can see that.” He said staring at the small amount of the hideous nightgown she was wearing.

He smirked slightly wondering why she liked those hideous nightgowns so much.

Were they that comfortable?

Did she hate her body that much?

He really loved—admired—liked—found her body to be okay...

And his mind briefly went to that moment the last time they'd gotten drinks before they'd gotten into this huge mess of Amy denouncing her vagina. He didn't understand it...even if he made fun of her figure, he really enjoyed  _all of her._

She had to know that.

And maybe _enjoy_ was too weak of a verb to accurately describe what he thought of _ever inch of Amy Brookheimer_.

Maybe the verb was closer to cherish or admire or lo—but he'd never actually admit to using those words to describe how he felt about Amy. 

He should probably stop going down that path.

“Don’t you have other pajamas?” he demanded before she could say anything.

She wrapped her arms around herself and glared at him. “What do you want?”

“To fucking talk.”

“I’m in fucking bed, Dan. And maybe I don’t want to talk to you. Did you ever fucking think of that?” She snapped.

“Well, I want to talk to you. There’s a baby—”

“Jesus fucking hell on a hot summer goddamn day, don’t you dare say that word in this hallway! Do you know who the fuck is on either side of me? Do you want the entire world to know what’s going on because I sure as fuck don’t want anyone knowing what the fuck devil spawn you put inside me.”

“Amy, as much as you want to deny what happened between us, we need to talk about what we’re going to do.”

“There is no we, Dan. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m keeping it and I don’t need anything from you. There talk over. Goodnight.”

“Amy—“

She moved to close the small two inches of space between the door and the frame, but in a desperate move to keep her talking to him, he shoved his hand through the small area just as she shut the door, hard on his hand. He swore he felt some bones break and maybe even a muscle or two pop.

He let out a howl of pain as the door connected with his limb and Amy began to yell at him for being such a self-serving douchebag that he needed to commit masochism just so he could have all her attention on him. Then the door beside theirs opened and Kent stuck his head out to see what was going on.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Kent asked staring at Dan leaning against the hotel wall in pain while gripping his hand to his chest and Amy screaming through the two inches of open door.

“Nothing. Nothing.” Amy said quickly.

Kent looked at the slightly ajar door and then at Dan who was hissing curses under his breath and holding his hand.

“He’s being a fucking child.” She elaborated and then closed the door.

A moment later it opened this time with the chain off and she shuffled outside toward where Dan was leaning against the wall. She grabbed him roughly by his arm and dragged him into her room.

“Good night, Kent.” She said quickly ignoring the way he was eyeing her dressing gown.

“That…is…hideous.” She heard him mumble.

Closing the door with a loud thud, she pushed Dan on the second bed in the hotel room.

“Dan. What the fuck about _I don’t want to talk about it_ don’t you understand?” she snarled.

He frowned and rubbed his hand.

She watched him through narrow, angry slits, and then went into the bathroom. He heard some shuffling and then she came out with a towel and some ice. Shoving it at his chest, she moved toward the second bed to settle back under the sheets. He took the ice and the towel and put it to his hand.

Silently, he watched as she picked her phone up and started scrolling. Eager to break the silence, but not knowing what to say, he figured he’d pick up the conversation where they’d left off when they were outside before the dinner when things between them were okay as they had been for the last few weeks.

“You’re pregnant.” He stated staring at the phone in her hand.

“Looks that way.” She said hiding behind the device.

“How long have you known?”

Amy was quiet for a second, “a month.”

Dan nodded and turned to face the front of the room to stare down at his shoes.

He wasn’t sure where else to look.

He wasn’t really sure what to do.

“What are we going to do?” he asked standing up and moving to the bed she was sitting on.

She looked away from her phone and down at the sheets. Setting the pieces of technology on the bedside table, she sighed heavily and ran her hands through her hair.

Dan watched her quietly waiting to see if she was going to say something. When she didn’t, he settled more comfortable on the foot of the bed in front of her and taped the top of her pedicured toes to get her to look at him. She resisted looking up at him, but he could see her jaw clenching and unclenching, so he knew she was either going to throw something at him or say something.

“I’m going to have the baby.” She announced.

“You mentioned that.”

“Do whatever you want to do.” He stared at her, but she refused to meet his gaze instead continuing to focus on the sheets in front of her.

“I’m going to help.” He heard himself say.

He let the ‘p’ roll of his tongue and he smirked a bit when he realized he wasn’t just telling her that, but he actually genuinely wanted to follow through on that statement. He and Amy had history and if anyone was going to be pregnant with his kid, well, he’d want Amy to be the co-creator to their demon spawn.

Besides, based on her taste in men, if he didn’t lock this in now his kid could end up with some fake cowboy Woody-looking douche-fucker from Nevada as the surrogate father and that shit wasn’t happening under his watch.

She snorted in disbelief and his hand moved from the top of her foot to her ankle and then it gripped her calf with determination.

“I am.”

“Sure, Dan.” She said rolling her eyes and moving her leg away from his hand.

“Why don’t you believe me?” he snapped and she moved to the other bed to sit across from him.

“Dan, you’re a shit. You know this because I’ve told you this time and time again. You’re the type of shit that let’s you down every time you want to trust it. I have known you for years, so many fucking years and the one thing I know is that when you get fucked by Dan Egan, _you get fucked by Dan Egan_. I know that this isn’t what you want: a kid and a long-term relationship. I know that you don’t want to wipe drool or pack lunch or change dirty diapers. That’s not you and that’s how I know you’ll get bored and you’ll leave. But instead of just leaving me, you’ll be leaving the kid as well and I just don’t…I don’t want my kid growing up wondering why their father doesn’t love them enough to try.”

Dan stared at her not knowing how to respond. He watched for the first time since knowing her two twin droplets of tears slide down her face. Before he could open his mouth, she was up again and wiping vigorously at her face. Turning her body away from him as if he didn’t already see those two teardrops.

“Just make this easy on us and just leave. I’d rather you be like the surrogate random uncle who takes the kid out for ice-cream or some shit once a year than have you fuck it up because you’re too busy loving yourself. Just like…do what you do best and not give a shit.”

He stood up suddenly and grasped her by the shoulders so she could look into his eyes.

“Listen to me carefully, Amy. I don’t care if I’m not making it easy on you. I don’t give a shit about easy. I’m going to be there for this kid. Dirty diapers to packed lunches to seeing it graduate from fucking Yale cause Ivy league is the only education good enough _for our kid_.” He stated.

She blinked.

“I might not be the best father, but I’ll be there for the kid. I can promise you that.” He said vehemently.

She looked down, but he grasped her chin to make sure she was looking into his eyes.

“I know you’re not excited and this is probably the worst thing you could imagine happening to you, especially with the campaign and Selina…but Amy, I promise I’ll be there to help you every step of the way. I’m not my father and you’re not your sister. We have each other and we’re a team. We’re a great fucking team and parenting will be…it’ll be just like every other thing we’ve excelled at.” He said passionately hoping she was actually listening to him.

She stared at him for a long moment and then yanked her face from his hands. “Whatever, Dan. I’m sure in two months you’ll be out of here.”

He let out a noise of frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “Amy—“

“Dan, please just let me go to bed. I’m more tired than a housewife on a cocktail of Ambian and Vicodin with a chaser of vodka. There’s nothing more to talk about.”

“Yes, Amy, there fucking is. You can’t just—“

“Just—Just sit the fuck down.” Amy said gesturing to the other bed.

Dan huffed and glared at her, but did sit down. She stared at him and he stared back at her.

“We can talk tomorrow. For now—for now, can we just pretend we don’t have a massive shitstorm to deal with?” she asked quietly.

He gave her a calculating look and then grabbed the remote on the bedside table and turned on the TV. He felt her eyes on him as he flipped through stations and then let out a small chuckle.

“ _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_.” He announced tossing her a smirk and an eyebrow wiggle.

She rolled her eyes and settled back against the headboard of the hotel bed.

“Hey, maybe this is a good omen.”

“They die, Dan.”

He shrugged and tossed the remote on the bedside table before moving toward the empty spot beside Amy on the other bed.

“You know…we could be great as parents.”

Amy glanced at him and rolled her eyes at the smirk on his face.

“Or we could give birth to the next Ted Bundy.”

“At least he was smart and good lucking.”

“He fucked dead bodies.”

“Just another Saturday night.”

He caught a small smile on the corner of her mouth and counted that as a win in his favor.

“You can still walk away.” She said as the movie played in the background.

“You could too, you know.” He said quietly.

She didn’t answer, instead placing her hand on her stomach.

“I will help you, Amy. After everything—everything we’ve been through. We’re a team.”

She refused to look at him electing to keep her eyes trained on the television.

When she didn’t respond, he tentatively placed his hand over hers on their growing baby that was probably the size of a fucking raspberry—thanks, Gary for the fruit lesson.

Silently, they watched _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ and when she woke up the next morning, Dan had already picked her up a muffin, some fruit, and a decaf coffee that was waiting on the desk in the hotel room for her. While Amy knew he was a shit and would probably fuck up, at least she was getting a helping hand, even if it was from a political demon from hell.


End file.
